Saving a marriage is something that is entirely possible, but that requires two willing spouses and a skilled counselor. Both spouses must be willing to save the marriage and undertake some important changes in their behaviors and attitudes. Changing certain behaviors is crucial in changing the dynamics that have become destructive. Here are a few of the behaviors that erode the foundations of any marriage:
-Criticism and hurtful comments.
-Talking about your spouse to others, such as friends or family members.
-Ignoring your spouse’s needs day after day.
Not only do harmful behaviors have to be addressed, but the underlying attitudes must be examined in order to save a marriage. If behaviors are adjusted but the underlying heart attitudes are not examined, the behaviors will eventually reemerge and continue to do damage.
Here are some attitudes that should be evaluated in the process of saving a marriage:
-Selfish and self-centered attitudes.
-Resentment from past hurts.
A skilled counselor can help couples identify the behaviors that are damaging the marriage and also help couples examine the heart attitudes that may be leading to those behaviors. Ultimately the marriage can be improved and enriched, and couples can grow close again. Saving a marriage is a beautiful thing!
Deborah (Debbie) Pinkston, Ph.D.